Now that's comphy

Did you hear about the woman who fell into the upholstery machine?

She's fully recovered.

Take that Toronto !!!

I’m really exited. Parker Brothers is releasing a new Monopoly game next week (The World Edition). The best part is that Montreal will replace Boardwalk. The better part is Toronto will be reduced to a magenta square, heheheheee . Vancouver (orange spot) also made the cut.
It should be noted that Canada is one of two countries that has three positions on the new board, the other being China.
I may even buy the new game, can you say Ebay in ten years? Ok so Ill buy two :)

The Middle Podium

Ok, you can stop crying now.
Canada didn’t win any medals the first few days but now we are on fire.
For those of you who say we are a winter country then let it be known that Canada has won more summer medals the winter.
I don’t get fencing but the diving, women’s gymnastics (ouch on the uneven parallel bars) and the swimming is just magic.
Canada won’t be in the top three country of medals but that doesn’t mean we aren’t winners We have dedicated accomplished athletes for the most part have to finance themselves and their efforts.
Stand-up Canada

http://results.beijing2008.cn/WRM/ENG/INF/GL/95A/GL0000000.shtml

Moooooo

A man and his wife were going to a costume party at a rural mansion. Just in sight of the mansion, the car broke down. They decided to walk.


Since the shortest distance was across a pasture and they were going as a cow, they decided on the short cut. About halfway across the pasture, they ran into a bull who became very "interested." The husband, who was in the back, said, "What shall we do now?"

The wife, who was in front, said, "I'm going to put my head down and make believe I'm eating grass. You had better brace yourself."

Klenexx Time

The last lecture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZ-IxbiI8Ts

Go Canada go

Man oh Man

Dear friends
How sad & senseless is the death of Tim McLean.

Some thinkin there huh

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded that she wanted to live in the couple's multimillion dollar home, and since the man's lawyers were a little better, he prevailed. He gave his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out.


She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music,and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit...Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth. But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...

...including the curtain rods.

Remembering

Sometimes (like now) news can’t be all good.
This week I learned that a friend, a new mom, and to be married Saturday 08/08/08 has had to be fitted for a wheel chair. Frequently she is to be attached to an apparatus of over twenty – four wires attached by tape to her body. She remains positive, and an example to all who know her
She has been stricken with M.S.
She is my nomination for person of the year.
Her name is …. Well that’s not important.
If you have regular devotions I am more then certain if you remember "Keith’s friend" that should do it