How’s Your Wiener ?

Well here we go.
I was attending a Montreal / Boston game at the Montreal Forum (of course I didn’t pay for the tickets.) Years & years ago, btw
Between the second & third periods I was feeling peckish and decided to have a “Montréal Forum” steamier and a coke
I was standing behind what had to be an American ( or at least a non Montrealer) who ordered a hot dog all dressed, when he was presented with a hot dog with mustard and relish… he reminded the counter guy “hey…. I asked for this dog all dressed”
The guy with out blinking in a perfect Quebecois accent said ….
"MR, ear at da Form, dis is all dress !!,”

Thanks Stanley

Ok ….here we are at the 2006 Stanley Cup play offs, probably towards the near the end of spring when it's all said & done
When was introduced to hockey there were only six teams in the league, and “Dutchy” blew the trumpet in the Forum at Atwater & Ste. Catherine for the Habs.
All that being said my list of hopes for this years Cup are:
A) The Montreal Canadians ( ya as if ! )
B) One of the original six
C) A Canadian Team
Z) Hockey must be fixed ( What me cynical ? )

Oh ya did I metion Toronto is out of it :) ?

April's Blonde Joke

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I''m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath".

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it in my eyes."

H & R Blockheads

Got the taxes done this week end.
Calculated, estimated, calculated again and filed (on line). I owe nothing to no one and even a little commin back. I qualified for GST & PST rebates so this week Monday wasn’t so bad.

Hang fire …. be cool

It's Not March 17th ?

Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City. They both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and says "So where are you from, then?"
"I'm from Ireland."
"Me too! I'll drink to that." They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin."
"Me too! I'll drink to that." They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where in Dublin are you from?"
"The East Side."
"The East Side? Me too! What a coincidence! I'll drink to that!" They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where on the East Side are you from?"
"McDonagh Street."
"Me too! This is incredible! I'll drink to that."
As the bartender pours them another two pints, another customer at the bar says to him, "That's amazing! I can't believe they're from the same street in Dublin. What's going on?"
"Oh, it's nothing amazing," says the bartender,"it's just the Ferguson twins getting sloshed again."

When Irish Eyes are Smiling

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cursed her.
Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute...."
"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million."
"For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club....(takes a breath)....and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...."
Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff.

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug.

You're Collecting What ???

Well first I started and continue to collect fridge magnets (adverting ones, not holiday type places) but as I have an apartment type fridge sadly space is becoming thin.
SO I’ve started to collect lanyards. Ya know the thingy that a lot of businesses give their employees to dangle Id’s & keys & stuff from. Again I only want business type ones and my collection is now up to four. One from Astral, one from Fuji, and two, from different hot tub places that were holding a show at the shopping center for the last two weeks.
Where will I put them ? no idea, but that’s what I am collecting now Right now they are in a box my Telus( I wonder if they have a lanyard ) cell phone came in

hang fire …. be cool

Is It Safe Yet ???

Is it safe yet….my favorite scene from a movie ever
(Dustin Hoffman in the Marathon Man, where he is having his front tooth drilled with out anesthetic)
http://www.filmsite.org/mara.html
My experience today was nothing like that. Dr. Howard is a great dentist, his chair side manner is amazing and he has an excellent understanding for my pain threshold and an even better understanding of my gag reflex.
Today he started a root canal procedure. Now by nature the term root canal strikes fear in the strongest of men, buckles the knees of giants and tears the faces of mobsters. Now either my pain level is greater then I think or Dr. Howard had me frozen to the max, but apart from the occasional twinge of OUCH !! the worst was some discomfort and the yucky taste of the dam
Here I must apologize for not seeing the good Dr. more regularly, but stuff happens.
Part two of the canal is in two weeks…….yippee
Oh and ya, thanks to Ester too ( Howards assisstant )

Welcome to April

There was a loney guy who decided that life would be more fun if he had a pet. He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede. It came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box back home, found a good location and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the park. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to the park with me?" But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the park with me?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede?s house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to the park with me?" A little voice came out of the box: "I heard you the first time! I?m putting on my shoes."