Couldn't Wait till July 1st

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing  for six days

Eventually,Michael the archangel found him, resting on  the seventh day He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed  downwards through the clouds, Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is  it?" It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm  going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place of great balance." Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example", Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot  spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people, God continued, pointing to different countries". "This one  will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large landmass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?" Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an  exquisite coastline. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as  diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super- human, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed;  "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!" God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them...."

Happy Sunday

The Final Frontier ??

I was going over some news this morning and was reminded that it was 20 years ago that the space shuttle Columbia blew up into pieces shortly after take off.
I was working at the Astral Photo in Les Jardin Dorval and went to visit my friend Rob who worked in the camera dept. in The Bay.
It was there as I passed the TV department that I watched as the shuttle blew to smithereens.
www.mytelus.com/news/article.do?pageID=news_home&articleID=2155350
At that time we had accepted space travel as common place, as normal as flying to Toronto or driving up the 20 to work.
When I was a kid I would get up at the crack of dawn to watch an Apollo flight leave Cape Canaveral and then days later watch it splash into the ocean where the astronauts, would be quarantined for days incase they had brought back “something” from outer space.
I remember holding my breath years later as space ships went to the far side of the moon, where no communications could be established…..
And don’t get me started when I watched as man landed on the moon.
That’s one small step for man ……

Time for that Yearly Check Up ?

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.

A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

Morris replied, "Just doing what you said Doc, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.' " The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful.'"

No Words

This blank blog post is dedicated to
17-year-old Brigette Serre
(see previous entry)

Call 9 1 1

On Tuesday evening of this week, a young girl (16 years old) was murdered while on duty at her job working at a depanneur in St. Leonard. Montreal Police are seeking the above in solving this crime
While I understand that this blog post will probably mean or result in little, I firmly believe it is better to light one candle then to curse the dark.
One description is: (last photo)
18-year-old Sebastien Simon is 6ft. tall, 165lbs with shaved blonde hair and blue eyes. He has the tattoo "THUG LIFE" tattooed on his hands. It's believed he drives a 1996 Ford Countour with the license plate 667 QZR

Ha Ha Ha

Sam was out shopping in the mall when he meets his friend Abe outside the jewellers. Sam notices that Abe has a small gift-wrapped box in his hand.
"So what have you just purchased Abe?" Sam asks.
"Well, now that you've asked," replies Abe, "it's my Rifka's birthday tomorrow and when I asked her this morning what she wanted for her birthday she said, 'Oh, I don't know, dear, just give me something with a lot of diamonds in it.'"
"So what did you get her?" Sam asks.
Abe replies, smiling, "I bought her a deck of cards."

Who Was That ?

I was watching Paul Martin’s speech moments ago where he thanked the people of Lasalle/Emard for their support. He also thanked the people of Canada for the support of The Liberal Party. He then pronounced that he would step down as leader of the Liberal Party (amazing!! he must have read my previous blog)

BUT who was that standing behind him for his speech? It looked a bit like Mr Dion, (defeated today) but the guy never smiled at the jokes, Paul made (in French or English) In fact I’m convinced he was miles away with an MP3 player featuring Celine Dion.

So ends another Canadian national election, and as always highlighted in what can be best described as “depanneur politics”

hang fire ...be cool

A Long 8 Weeks

It’s not even midnight here in Montreal, but all signs point to a Conservative minority.

But the sun will come up tomorrow, I’ll still drive a 1995 Honda, and Visa will still want a payment.

I use to and still am in favor of minority governments but please not two in a row !!! We will be back to the polls in under two years to do this &^%%$## all over again.

Please Paul, time to step down, and Gilles get a new photographer for your posters and Mr. McKay, learn how to tie a knot in your tie.

So… as in most elections, ….
After all was said & done, more was said then done.

hang fire .... be cool

Confusion Reigns

I’ve been watching the election results on four different television channels for about 33 minutes now.
Could they post more numbers on the screen, roll different, scrolls along the bottom and have more people yattering at he same time ?
Who the heck is winning the election? Where are they winning it? Have I been appointed a senator? All this and all the polls in Canada are not yet closed.
I LOVE yes LOVE statistics but not all at the same time. There is no way to properly digest the amount of facts we are being deluged with.
So a pox on you Global, CTV, CBC, and Newsworld for being of little help to me tonight.

Very soon I will join CJAD for their analysis, and be up early to steal the neighbour’s Gazette

Ok Just heard the sound of the TV, CTV had predicted a PC minority. ( took em long enough)

hang fire .... be cool

Hows Your Week End ?

Two salesmen were going door to door. They knocked on the door of a woman who clearly was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms she did not want to hear their message and then slammed the door in their faces.
To her surprise, the door did not close. In fact, it bounced back open. Seeing the two salesmen at the door frustrated her. She stormed back to the door and flung it shut.
But the door still didn't close. Furious, she grabbed the door with two hands and shoved it as hard as she could. But again, the door wouldn't shut.
Convinced one of these rude salesmen was sticking a foot in the door, she reared back to give the door a slam that would really teach them a lesson.
Just then, one of the salesmen said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you might want to move your cat."

A Tuesday Ha Ha

Al and Joe are bungee-jumping one day. Al says to Joe, "you know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee jumping service in Mexico." Joe thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money and buy everything they'll need; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square.
As they are constructing the tower a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them work. When they had finished, there was such a crowd they thought it would be a good idea to give a demonstration. So Al jumps.
He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, Joe notices that he has a few cuts and scratches.
Unfortunately, Joe isn't able to catch him, and he falls again, bounces again and comes back up again. This time he is bruised and bleeding. Again Joe misses him. Al falls again and bounces back up. This time he comes back pretty messed up. He's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.
Luckily Joe catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?" Barely able to speak, Al gasps, "No, the bungee cord was fine. It was the crowd... WHAT THE HECK IS A PIÑATA?"

Thanks Evans-Adrian

My friend and co worker, but more importantly my friend just returned from a mini vacation from New York City.
When he returned to my surprise he had bought me a gift. It is a crystal glass sketching of the New York City skyline. It is about 1.5 in. x 1 inch and approximately ½ inch thick.
I looked at it and was touched by his generosity and knew where in my apartment it would rest.
BUT it was not till Luna another co worker looked at it (as I was thrilled to show it off), that she pointed out that the skyline included the World Trade Center twin buildings.
How excellently cool is that!!!!
I can hardly waits till he gets back from Hawaii, I’ll look phenomenal, grass skirt

1st Groaner of '06

A duck walked into the pharmacy and asked the druggist for some condoms. The druggist looked at him, then went and got the condoms, put them in a bag, and asked, "Do you want these on your bill?"
The duck answered, "What kind of a duck do you think I am?"

Can We be Friends First ?

With the impeding election of Canada’s 39th Parliament, much talk has been had about tightening up security at our borders. These measures include closer inspection of luggage, the elimination of smiling on our passports, and the possibilities of more frequent cavity searches as deemed necessary.
To this "end" I have found a young custom agent in training.

I Realize it’s a Privilege but ….

I voted today (at an advanced poll, cause I could)
As I was driving to the LaSalle library,( or as we call it The Octagone) which is where the advanced poll was taking place I still hadn’t decided who deserved my X.When I arrived at the book place there were about four folk in line so I guessed that I could wait ten minutes to use some lead.( and no I didn't steal the pencil) When I got behind the “curtain” I realized that that not one of the listed on the ballot had bothered to knock on my door, or even leave me a flyer in the lobby of my building, ( well Paul did ) or even post a decent distribution of posters here in LaSalle probably running frightened of the current P.M, as LaSalle is a "given"
So in order to be fair I X’d a few of the boys, ‘cept for the Bloc or the communists.
I think that there should be a circle on the ballot where I could cast a vote for “None of the above”


hang fire …. be cool

What The ...!!! ????

I was floored I went to the Elections Canada site ( http://www.elections.ca/) and part of the information I could find was how many of the candidates in my riding (and probaly yours) were male or female ..... this is 2006 right ?
I'm stunned, I wonder if any are gay, own a Honda, or perfer the color gray
I'm really lost for words, just as well I only need a X

Why Does the Vegetable Crisper Smell So Funny ?

77-year-old Morris went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results. Dr. Cohen said, "Morris everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with yourself, and have a good relationship with God?"
Morris replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get up in the middle of the night, "poof"... the light goes on when I go to the bathroom and then "poof" the light goes off!"
"Wow," commented Dr. Cohen," That's incredible!" A little later in the day Dr. Cohen called Morris's wife. "Becky," he said, " Morris is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and "poof" the light goes on in the bathroom and then "poof" the light goes off?"
Becky replied, "The darn fool!... He's peeing in the fridge again!"

7 Secret Spices

The CEO of Kentucky Fried Chicken manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican. After receiving the papal blessing, he whispers, "Your eminence, we have an offer for you. KFC is prepared to donate $100 million dollars to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily chicken.'
The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The Prayer is the word of the Lord - it must not be changed."
"Well," says the KFC guy, "we anticipated your reluctance. For this reason, we will increase our offer to $300 million dollars. All we require is that you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily chicken.' Again, the Pope replies, "That, my son, is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and it must not be changed."
Finally, the KFC guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Kentucky Fried Chicken respect your adherence to your faith, but we do have one final offer. We will donate $500 million dollars - that's half a billion dollars - to the great Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily chicken.' Please consider it." And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals. "There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad news."
"The good news is that the Church has come into $500 million dollars."
"And the bad news, your eminence?" asks a Cardinal.
"We're losing the Wonder Bread account."

In Case You Gotta Know

Vote Early, vote often ( To Quote my brother Dave)
http://www.elections.ca/

Groovy Baby

The year was 1976. The Dead Sea was only sick, General Motors was but a cadet and I was in my 3rd year with Astral…….
Cool glasses huh

Health Care ,,,,,,,,Cool !

A woman, calling a local hospital, said, "Hello, I'd like to talk with the person who gives the information regarding your patients. I'd like to find out if the patient is getting better, or doing as expected, or is getting worse".
The voice on the other end of the line said, "What is the patient's name and room number?"
She said, "Sarah Finkel, in Room 302...
"I will connect you with the nursing station."
"3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?"
"I would like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in Room 302".
"Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Oh, yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, her blood work just came back as normal, she's going to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at twelve o'clock."
The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful! Oh! that's fantastic, that's wonderful news!"
The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be a close family member or a very close friend!"
"Not exactly, I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells me nothin.....

At Least I get 4 Hours to Vote

I am going to vote on Saturday at an advanced poll. Id vote on Friday except I suffer from triskaidekaphobia, any ideas where I should put my X ? And remember pop is watching !
(see photo on left)

Fore !!!

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.
"We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.
"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"

Mais Oui .....

Wow !!!
Now most of you know my love for radio.
Today a gentleman came in to the store and requested a passport photo taken, and after seeing the results he very politely asked that I retake the pic. As is the custom I asked the customer to write his name on an ID envelope, when I saw the name and connected it with the face I realized that it was “Mais Oui ,Marc Denis.”
Well we chatted for some time and I mentioned that I had worked radio at CKRK, THEN he said he remembered that I had given him a “KRK mug with my photo on it, some years ago at a remote he was doing for Brault & Martineau, not only had he remembered receiving the mug BUT that he still had it !!!
We chin wagged about everything from the early days of CKGM to Dick Clarke’s recent return to the New Years celebration.
Check out his site www.marcdenis.com and click on the
CKGM Tribute page, if you are from Montreal … you’ll be there for a long time

hang fire .... be cool

Polly Wanna a Cracker

A fellow buys a parrot, but the parrot's vocabulary is rude at best. The fellow tries to reform his parrot by offering tidbits, shouts, and more, but nothing works.
Frustrated, he throws parrot into the freezer, and can still hear insults for a few minutes. But then there is a sudden silence. Worried that he's broken the bird, he whips open the freezer.
The parrot comes out with wholly-changed demeanor. It says:, "On reflection, my language has been improper. I intend to change. I beg your pardon."
There's a pause, then the parrot adds, "May I ask what, exactly, the turkey did?"

I laughed so hard

I really hope this link works for you
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=2WkAINj7BKI&search=backstreet%20boys

And remember, it's not what you eat between Christmas & New Years ..... it's what you eat between New Years & Christmas

hang fire .... be cool

An Email Repeat

Well we did it, we made it, 2006.

Like it is said much water has passed under the bridge, three hundred and sixty-five sunsets have come and gone. We have retired our 2005 agendas, blessed our PDA’s and are poised to post our 2006 calendars.

Some truly sad events world wide and personally have taken place. We have shed more then our share of tears but as well we have had our deserved amount of smiles.

Like the dawning of a new day, 2006 offers hope and promise. It is not enough that we expect theses joys but that we encourage them by positive thought and actions to achieve theses goals.

I guarantee you now that there will be terrible events that will take place to all of us in the next twelve months, but there will also be absolute moments of utter joy and happiness.

In the matter of the sad events I offer my shoulder, in those of happiness I smile with you.

May you all be able to smile more then you cry, may you all know the felling of a full tummy, may you all have the warm fuzzy feeling that someone loves you and ……
may you all pick the right 6/49 #s