Passport

Today was the culmination of what has seemed to be months of work.
Today my application was completed for my Canadian Passport. I needed a birth certificate and that took about a month.
I had to find a Guarantor (which can now be any one who holds a valid Canadian Passport) I needed to consider how to chose to references (they didn’t need a valid Canadian Passport.
I also needed two acceptable photos. This by itself is a challenge, given my mug and the regulations surrounding them.
So….I choose Casmir as my Guarantee who I have known as a co worker for thirty plus years. He also took the photos which I got using my senior’s discount at Astral Photo
My references are Rolanda and Brigitte. People I have known since the Dead Sea was only sick.
This morning the alarm went off around 6:30 and by 7:15 I was on the road to the Passport Office in Fairview, Pointe Claire.
Nothing of course was yet open so I had a coffee with my ex Astral manager Clermont.
At about 8:15 I was the third in line at the Passport office they opened at 8:30 and by 8:40 all my documentation had been verified and 87$ had been removed form my cheque account.
All in all this was not the horror experience I had anticipated.
I was assured I would receive my Passport by registered mail in about two weeks.
Pyramid Mall, here I come

I Get It

Im not one of them thar hippy fancy dudes. When I wanna listen I have my dependable walkman..
When I want to make a phone call Im always sure to have ten cents in my pocket.
If I have to take notes I have spiral note bad.
So you see I don’t need an IPod, nor a IPhone, Now today they are releasing the IPad.
All that being said and done can you point me out to the IHop?


(This is post # 700 for Keith's Thoughts fun huh ?)

Going Up

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.


The boy asked, "What is this Father?"


The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."


While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat, old lady in a wheelchair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.

The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially.


They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.


The father said quietly to his son . . .

"Go get your mother"

Makes Cents to Me

There is a movement afoot to rid Canada of the penny.
Now this could take years, the logistics in doing so would phenomenal. Reprising in stores would take so long, changing the tax structures would be impossible (well it is the government right?) I realize it cost more then a cent to produce a penny (well it is the government right?)
What the government doesn’t appreciate is that I must have close to 100$ in pennies, not one dollar rolled.
I’ve offered 10% to anyone who wants to take on the chore, heck Ill even supply the paper rollers and a bottle of Purell.
Well that’s my story.
Next thing you know Stephen and his merry band will want to get done with the 5$ bill, oh goody another coin.
Maybe for the 2010 tax year I can pay my debt with the soon to be defunct currency.
Any takers on my 10% offer ?

Keith....Count to Ten

When I awoke this morning, I could not connect to the internet. I growled and muttered please not tell me I have to call Sympatico. I rebooted the computer; I rebooted the modem and called Rolanda, who assured me HER Sympatico was working fine.
I called Sympatico and was after a period of time was transferred to technical support agent. After a series of seemingly useless questions (they have all this on file, no?) I was transferred to yet another agent who told me she would call me back in about ten minutes.
Calling Bell Canada is frustrating. I wonder if they realize Videotron begs people for their internet business, it sure is tempting.
It is now some thirty minutes and still no return call from Bell, so….I called them and in Bell style I was put on hold. I was then reconnected with tech support in India who told me there was a problem in my area. I was asked to confirm I lived in the Ville I assumed he knew it was Ville LaSalle.
He said repairs to my area should not exceed three hours. In this day of advanced technology ya think they coulda let me know at the outset.

This is just Not Right

A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform, marches
into a pharmacy. Very carefully he opens his sporran
and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana,
unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk handkerchief
which he also unfolds - to reveal a condom.
The condom has a number of patches on it.
The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.
How much to repair it? the Scot asks the chemist.
Six pence, says the chemist.


How much for a new one?


Ten pence, says the chemist.


The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the silk square handkerchief and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran, and marches out of the door,
shoulders back and kilt swinging.


A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside, followed by
an even greater shout.


The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemistsand with a big grin, addresses the proprietor.


The regiment has taken a vote, he says.
We'll have a new one."



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And we're off Again

Last night the Montreal Canadians won their series against the Stanley Cup Champions, Pittsburg Penguins. They took seven games to do it, but they did it, despite being underdogs.
The game took place in Pittsburg, but The Montreal Canadians organization opened The Bell Centre with giant screens a price of 7.50$ a seat to watch the spectacular all the proceeds going to The Montreal Canadians charity.
The task was done and the game & series won.
Crowds spilled out from the Bell and every bar and club in the general down town area.
People on walkers children in strollers,
Then the usual "aholes" started. There were broken windows and looters abounded. These images were flashed around the world.
There were arrests and I hope those arrested are prosecuted to the full extent of the law. If they have a criminal record, I hope these events are high lighted. If this is there first, then I wish photos could be published and their employers informed.
Montreal seems to have a history of hockey riots, man do we look stupid
That being said I say on to Philadelphia or Boson.
Go Habs go

The Broken Lawnmower

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that
I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck,
the car, playing golf. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily
snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a
short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when
I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

And Now You Know

ARLINGTON CEMETERY - Jeopardy Question


On Jeopardy the other night, the final question was How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb of the Unknowns ---- All three missed it --
This is really an awesome sight to watch if you've never had the chance, Very fascinating.

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier



1. How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb of the Unknowns and why?
21 steps. It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute, which is
the highest honor given any military or foreign dignitary.


2. How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why?

21 seconds for the same reason as answer number 1



3. Why are his gloves wet?

His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.




4. Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time
and if not, why not?
He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path,he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.



5. How often are the guards changed?

Guards are changed every thirty minutes,
twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.





6. What are the physical traits of the guard limited to?

For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be
between 5' 10' an d 6' 2' tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30.' Other
requirements of the Guard: They must commit 2 years of life to guard the
tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on
or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the
rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform {fighting} or the tomb in
any way.
After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on
their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only
400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their
lives or give up the wreath pin.

The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat
and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the
top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt.

There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty
in front of a full-length mirror.
The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone, nor
watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid
to rest in Arlington National Cemetery ...
A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred.
Among the notables are: President Taft, Joe E. Lewis {the boxer} and Medal of Honor winner Audie Murphy, {the most
decorated soldier of WWII} of Hollywood fame.
Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for
guard duty..


ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD, AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.

In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching Washington , DC , our
US Senate/House took 2 days off with anticipation of the storm. On the ABC
evening news, it was reported that because of the dangers from the hurricane, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of
the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They respectfully declined the offer, 'No way, Sir!' Soaked to the skin,
marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding
the Tomb was not just an assignment, it was the highest honor that can be
afforded to a service person.
The tomb has been patrolled continuously,
24/7, since 1930.


God Bless and keep them.