For P.E.T.A.

A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.

The bartender asks the seal, "What's your pleasure?"

The seal replies, "Anything but Canadian Club."

One For the Rugrats

"Look at this mess!" roared an angry customer at a local café, pointing to his squashed doughnut.

"It's just as you ordered it, sir," the waitress replied meekly. "You told me to bring you coffee and a doughnut and step on it !!!."

Those Poor MP's

An Alberta cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, Miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the Cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a member of parliament for the Canadian Government", says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows... this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog."

Today February 14, 2007 is quite day for me. Nope not because it’s Valentines Day nor is it the snowstorm we are experiencing.

Today my good friend Adam and his family became Canadian citizens.. Adam and by extension his family are what Canadians should be. He is a quiet man but his actions as a man speak volumes of his spirit. He has no desire to be in the spotlight but would rather hold the spotlight on another. I had the pleasure of working with Adam at the store and later (and still) enjoy his company as a Free Mason.

Congratulations Sofineti Family and thank-you for choosing Canada

Mmmmmmm Ice Cream

A little old man shuffled... slooooowly into an ice cream parlour, and pulled himself... slooooooowly... painfully... up onto a stool at the counter.


After catching his breath... he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, as she prepared the man's banana split, "Crushed nuts?"

"No," the man replied, "Arthritis."

Keith's Site of the Month

http://www.astrodigital.org/space/stshorse.html

Da Bears !

Day stink !

This Just In

Canada’s worst air disaster occurred earlier today when a Cessna 152 a small two-seater plane crashed into a cemetery this morning in central Newfoundland.
Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far. And expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening

So....You Think You've Seen Me Angry Before !!

There is a family in B.C, to who God blessed with the birth of sextuplets. As usual is cases such as this the babies were born premature and not healthy. I believe that since they have been born two of them have died. The parents who are devote Jehovah’s Witnesses have since denied the others of blood transfusionst that could possibly saves their lives. These two pea brains of parents have quoted chapter and verse from the Book of Acts discussing the use of blood products. I am of the opinion that God gave man the knowledge to help man save man. What a sad comment on these parents if they allow some of their remaining off spring to die under the guise of religious freedom. If they do so these people should be charged with at he least involuntary man slaughter. The courts of British Columbia have deemed that the safety of these infants precedes the religious freedoms of these behemoth morons of parents. These gifts from God did not ask to be born, and as such should not be condemned to die through the stupidity of their mother and father. Note that I have used a small m and a small f for mother and father as capitalizing their position may express a drop of respect which from me does nor exist !
A curse on the both of you , and may enough remember these angels in their prayers so that that the children who you profess to love be delivered from your evil, ignorant, Godless grasp!