Wednesday, May 31

The Heeby Jeebies


Today with out sirens or flashers, police fire, and Gaz Company trucks surrounded about a one block radius of my building. There were about four fire reels two police cars several City of LaSalle vehicles and the scariest of them all two Gaz Metro trucks. This meant that there were over forty people investigating. I believe that constructions may have hit a buried pipe and so…. Now most of you reading this blog entry say so what? I also believe that some of you may remember over three decades ago when a major gas explosion leveled an apartment building here in LaSalle which killed several people, and broke windows for miles around The blast happened in the early morning. I remember listening to CJAD having breakfast when the traffic helicopter reported watching the building disappear below him. A gas leak a regular occurrence ? not in LaSalle, at least not with me.

hang fire …. be cool

Sunday, May 28

A Good Time to Groan

A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. 'Hi,' he croaks.'What's your name?' The loan officer says, 'My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?' 'Yeah,' says the frog. 'I'd like to borrow some money.' The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. 'Okay,what's your name?' The frog replies, 'Kermit Jagger.' 'Really?' says the loan officer. 'Any relation to Mick Jagger?' 'Yeah, he's my dad.' 'Hmmm,' says the loan officer. 'Do you have any collateral?' The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, 'Will this do?' The loan officer says, 'Um, I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.' 'Oh, tell him I said hi,' adds the frog. 'He knows me.' The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, 'Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.' The manager says: 'It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.'

Friday, May 26

One for your Week-End

An old man was 89-years-old and he wanted to marry a 24 year old girl.

His son told him, "You can't marry a 24-year-old girl."

He said, "Why not?"

The son said, "If you marry a 24-year-old girl, you'll have to have sex with her and that could be fatal!"

The old man thought about it a moment, shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well if she dies, she dies."

Watch Those Demerits


Wanna be a Quebec driver,,,,think ya got what it takes ???
Go ahead, try the test

http://www.saaq.gouv.qc.ca/en/services-saaqclic/auto/questionnaire.htm

Thursday, May 25

An Oldie but .....

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come closer.


As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. And her husband looked into her eyes and said, "I think you're a jinx."

A Lump in my Throat


Now I understand that the hockey season is way overdue to be done,
BUT tonight I was moved. I was watching the opening ceremonies of the Anaheim / Edmonton series. Now you should understand that at a recent opening game in Anaheim the crowd booed the Canadian National Anthem, not too surprising a typical American boorish tendency. Tonight not only did the Canadian crowd cheer the American Anthem but during the singing of O’Canada the guest singer stopped singing about eight words through the Anthem and held his mike towards the crowd who sang the words loud and proud. Usually Canadians hide their patriotism under a bushel, but not tonight, they sang loud & proud, ….. God bless the people who were there, and I dare say there were peoples singing along in bars and homes throughout our great country, lets make it an encore event when we stand in sports events, after all WE ARE CANADIAN……eh

Tuesday, May 23

E= MC²


When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another lecture, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur that he was tired of speechmaking.
"I have an idea," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you." Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not? Let's do it!"
When they arrived, Einstein wore the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat at the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's speech and even answered a few questions.
Then a pompous professor asked an esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to show off his expertise. Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."

Monday, May 22

The Wooden Bowl

I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now.

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law,and four-year
old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table.

But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about father," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor."

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There,Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather
had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl!

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometime he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?"
Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth
soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she
handles three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas
tree lights.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents,
you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a
"life."

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt
on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But, if
you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I
usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch -! - holding hands, a warm hug, or just a
friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.!

Thursday, May 18

...And the Thunder Rolls


As I sit here in the home office after watching the finale of Will & Grace there is a mini storm outdoors
(and mercy, it’s not coming through my ceiling ….yet)
There is lightening every few minutes and a tiny bit of thunder rolls by to keep it company. The rain however is coming down in sheets
(and mercy, it’s not coming through my ceiling ….yet)
It’s the first thunder storm of 2006, and although everything is wet, it’s a sign summer can’t be far away

hang fire ….be cool

Saturday, May 13

No Weapons of Mass Destruction but.....

President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. " This is Archie, up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada ey? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you ey!"
"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
George paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
" Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
" And what equipment would that be Archie?", George asked.
" Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."
President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 4,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a
half million since we last spoke."
" Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya"
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day.
"President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"
George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last
spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
" Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day.
"President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
" I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

" Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN

Thursday, May 11

Bless The Children


There are stories that warm the heart and make you smile such is one of them This little fella Jérémy Gabriel was deaf at birth but that didn’t stop him. He sang the National Anthem at a Montreal Canadians game which got the attention of Celine Dion and then he sang with her,
Ok time passes ………………………………………… today he sang for the Pope.
Right I am not a follower of the Catholic religion, but I am a fan of the dreams of a kid,bless the children

hang fire …. be cool

http://www.cbc.ca/montreal/story/qc-gab20060508.html

Thursday, May 4

And Away we Go


Today I went for my first sun / bench season. Let me explain I live across the street from a bike path that runs parallel to the St. Lawrence River. On warm days I sit on a bench on that path and enjoy the sun of the season. When my brother Dave lived closed we use to sit on the same bench and enjoy a barley pop.
One day last year I was confronted by the constabulary and warned that ingesting such a beverage in what is considered a public place could be a ticketable offence so….. now its just a stoggy and a pop unless of course I use that Skyjack mug I have, Id still prefer to be sharing the bench time with Dave with or without the Sleamans

hang fire …. be cool

Making me Count


This week I received my Census 2006 form from the government. Quick like a bunny I completed the information @ www.census2006.ca
Now not only did I do my civic duty (including allow my information to be released in 2098) but I also saved fifty-one cents in postage, no wait it was postage paid envelope, I may mail it empty.

hang fire …. be cool