Ever put Steel Wool on the Ears ?

A man was deliberating over a new television and asked the young salesperson its country of origin. The clerk disappeared into the stockroom to look on the box.

On his return he announced to the customer that the television in question was "Built in Antenna."

Couldn't Resist

A guy goes into the bar and sits down and orders a drink. Other than the bartender, there's no one else in the place. All of a sudden he hears a voice that says, "Nice suit."

He looks around and doesn't see anyone and the bartender looks busy washing some glasses. A little while later the same voice says, "Nice Tie."

The guy looks around again and doesn't see anyone. He finally asks the bartender if he just said something.

"No," replied the bartender, "it wasn't me. It was probably the peanuts though. They're complimentary.

Progress Progress !!

The SAQ (liquor stores in Quebec) are moving towards a bagless operation. Right now if you bring your own bag (paper or what ever) they reduce your purchase by five cents, In August they will charge five cents for a bag, As of 2009 there will be no bags made available, unless you buy one of the cloth bags.
Quebec law does not require that a merchant make available a bag to carry your purchases.
This means I’ll have to a) bring my own bag b) just carry the bottle as is or
c) drink it in the store.
Only in Quebec huh .

Long Time Between Groaners

A little country café was having a promotion by putting little tabs on the coffee cups with a prize named under it.

A woman pulled the tab off of her coffee cup and started shouting, "I WON A MOBILE HOME, I WON A MOBILE HOME!"

A waitress came over to her and said, "Ma'am, you couldn't have won a mobile home."

The woman said, "I DID WIN A MOBILE HOME!"

Finally the owner came over to her and said, "Ma'am, you couldn't have won a mobile home because all of the prizes are food from the café." He then asked her to let him see the tab.

He looked at the tab and said, "Ma'am, it says, 'WIN A BAGEL'."

Good Money After Better

I am pissed, not angry, not upset, not disturbed, but PISSED !!
The O.I.B. has decided that the Big “Owe” needs a new roof. Not only does it need a new roof but a new roof from the same engineering firm that designed the last catastrophe that covered our last crumbling disaster.
There are no major tenants ready to take the place of the Expos and the Als are clever enough not to take on the responsibility, they MAY use it twice per year and 2008 only because Montreal is hosting the Grey Cup.
Rome let the Acropolis go to ruins I say bring in the wrecking ball and we can all say good bye to this heap of ruble.
The government has also said “we” need 10,000,000$ to repair 24 Sussex, did we win the 6/49?
For 10,000,000$ we could build a new joint for our revolving doors of Prime Ministers.
I as proud as the next Montrealer or Canadian, but please !!

Break out the Old Spice

If within the next few hours you hear the screams of pain and gnashing of teeth fear not. It is the hoards of “fans” dropping off the Canadian’s band wagon.
And the razor blades.?
Get some stock in Gillette, plenty of playoff beards will be shorn off within hours.

666 Woodland Ave

This is a magic story.
First I will tell you I am a “Facebook” junkie. There you can find friends to catch up with from your past and present. I won’t go into the possibilities so my story may seem some what disjointed. There not only can you find friends, but groups. Tonight I found a group for Dawson Boys Club. I was an original member of Dawson since 1958. It was my second home. For years I possessed membership card #1 (which was renewed on a yearly basis.)
I can not express how exited I am to have found this group.
Dawson was where I had my first job as a camp counselor. I wish I had the talent to organize my feelings on Dawson.
I saw that one of the members there was a guy named Shayne O’Neill who was a camp counselor and I was his C.I.T. (counselor in training) Shayne in year to come went off to be a U.S. Marine. I haven’t heard from him in years. I wrote to him and anxiously wait to see if he writes back or if I have the wrong Shayne.
My Dawson stories would require a second blog page.
Peace my friends, as I wave to you from the roof top of Dawson.