Happy Canada Day

The True North Strong and Free

Extra !! Extra, Read all about It

Hmmmm there are plenty of reasons to pick a newspaper to read.
Content, editorials, political slant, availability. I pick mine based on size. I work where most of my lunch is taken in a food court. Now in food courts space is at a premium and turning a broad sheet publication like the Montreal Gazette. or the National Post is impossible. I know I could buy Le Journal de Montreal, but in thirty minutes, I don’t have time for that much French.
Okay, when I use to visit my brother in Guelph, I use to walk up to The Stone Road Mall and pick up the Toronto Sun and read it at ???? with a Western sandwich (extra mayo of course) and as I loved it the bottomless coffee cup and my day was set.
In Montreal, for reasons only known to the might Great Manito the Toronto Sun is nowhere to be found, but I can purchase the Ottawa Sun.
So all things considered size does count
http://www.ottawasun.com/

R.I.P.

Early this morning, television lost a friend.
He wasn’t a head liner, nor (as I believe ) over paid. His act never ceased to make me smile, but now he’s gone. Facts surrounding his demise have not been released, but given his age I’m guessin it wasn’t a lack of Puppy Chow, rest in peace Eddie.
Eddie BTW was Frasier’s dad’s dogHe was 16 in dog years

It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's .....

I discovered one of the secrets of the universe last night.
Ever wonder why no one ever saw Superman when they looked at Clark Kent. The answer it seems is in the glasses, which he always wore when he was Clark. Now here’s the rub ….. the secret of those horn rimmed jobbies, is in the lenses. They are made from windshield of the spaceship he used to get to earth. They have hypnotic power, hence, they can’t see Superman. How cool is that?
And now you know

The First Cut

Once upon a time, two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were getting to know each other a little bit, Sammy eventually asked Tim, “Hey Tim, what're you in for?”
“I'm getting my tonsils out -- I'm a little worried,” said Tim.

“Oh don't worry about it. I had my tonsils out and it was a blast! I got to eat all the ice cream and jello I wanted for two weeks!”

“Oh yeah?'' replied Tim. “That's not half-bad. Hey, Sammy, how about you? What're you here for?”

“I'm getting a circumcision, whatever that is,” Sammy answered.

“Oh my god, circumcision? I got one of those when I was a baby and I couldn't walk for two years!”

O' Canada

Happy St. Jean to all of you.
In October of 1995 David Letterman presented this:

Top Ten Possible Names For Quebec If It Secedes
10. Le Grand Faux Pas
9. Lorne Greenland
8. Rand McNally's Worst Nightmare
7. Sparky
6. International House of Pancakes
5. The Monkey On Maine's Back
4. Frenchylvania
3. Canada 90210
2. Parlez-Vousland
1. Funkytown

Here's a Cheery Thought

Today, June 21st was the longest day of the year.
That means that as of tomorrow the days start getting shorter.....winter's on the way

Right On !!

http://www.funerals.org/faq/pinebox.htm

Looks Like ????

In case you're not where I am:
http://www.theweathernetwork.com/weather/cities/can/pages/CAQC0289.htm

All That Jazz

Now here's a party !!

http://www.montrealjazzfest.com/

A Horse's Bum

http://www.astrodigital.org/space/stshorse.html

Back to Normal

It’s magic.
My computer was really messed up after I reformatted my hard drives. I couldn’t fix theses problems for the life of me ( I should be used as the “dummy” to train customer support people)
This after noon, my “computer guru” after a ten minute call to Sympatico had all my worries solved in minutes.
It is amazing to watch some one work with such efficiency, calm, cool, and collected Nothing is a problem, logic rules, and everything is possible.
Thanks Adron

.....and a bottle of Rhum

A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate's peg-leg, hook, and eye patch, the sailor asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"


The pirate replies "We were caught in a monster storm off the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin' me out, a school of sharks appeared and one of 'em bit my leg off".

"Blimey!" said the sailor. "What about the hook"?

"Ahhhh...", mused the pirate, "We were boardin' a trader ship, pistols blastin' and swords swingin' this way and that. In the fracas my hand got chopped off."

"Wow!" remarked the sailor. "And how come you wear the eye patch"?

"A seagull droppin' fell into my eye", answered the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.

"Well..." said the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook."

Who Would be You

I was discussing with friends that if a movie was made of your life who would play the part of you. I picked Jack Black or if he was busy ( heheheheh ) the guy in the pic ( Danny DeVito)

Your June Groaner

A man walks into a bar. He sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling and asks the barman, "Why are those two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling?"


The barman replies, "It's a competition which we run every night. If you can jump up and touch the meat, you get free drinks for the whole night."

"Great!" says the man, "but what if I can't reach them?"

"Then you have to buy all the drinks for everyone all night," the bartender answers. "Do you want to try?"

"No, but thanks anyway."

"Why not?" asks the bartender.

"The steaks are too high."

Ahhhhhh !!!!!!

Ok….ok., I give up.
I use to say that I don’t get upset about things I can’t change. BUT it’s been raining for days now. It’s depressing.
I don’t know if I should buy some “floaters” or start gathering animals two by two

10 Ringy Dingys

Oh great !!! as of June 17th of this year I will have to add the area code to every phone call I make.(including the local ones) Now I realize that this has probably happened elsewhere, but it sucks. Between my phone and my cellular I probably have over fifty numbers programmed, including Dominos, Piazza Gousta and Pizza Hut. Reprogramming will take for ever, good job there is a four month grace period, it will take me that long to do the conversions.
Now will I have to dial 514 911 in an emergency

A x Rated Entry

There once was a poetry contest between a wise Yale graduate and a Newfoundlander. The goal of the contest was to write a poem containg the word TIMBUKTU

The Yale grad stepped to the microphone and recited:
SLOWLY ACROSS THE DESERT SAND
TREKKED A LONELY CARAVAN.
MEN ON CAMELS, TWO BY TWO
DESTINATION - TIMBUKTU".

The crowd was in awe


The Newfie stepped up and recited:


"ME AND TIM A HUNTIN' WENT,
MET T'REE WHORES IN A POP-UP TENT.
DEY WAS T'REE, AND WE WAS TWO,
SO I BUCKED ONE, AND TIMBUKTU!"

You guess who won

hang fire .... be cool

Still Alive

Well I reformatted my hard drive and reinstalled ( I hope ) most of my usual software. My friend was helping me out and I think he forgot to install the pop thingy for sending mail in my outlook account. So I can receive mail but it might we a few days before I can send. I also need to install my word processing program so please for give spelling errors that might be here. Anyway we'll get through it no doubt

hang fire .... be cool

MMMmmmmmmmm Tasty

Just a few days ago, the government of Quebec made it illegal to smoke in restaurants and bars. This caused some concern for both owner and patron alike. THEN is occurred to me that the ban was just on smoking and not tobacco products. So the answer,take up chewing tobacco, No smoke, no odor, and less garbage. And the ashtray that are now worthless can be retooled to be spittoons,
The only health concern is if you’re sitting downwind from a chewer, ya know 2nd hand spit
Have a good week end

hang fire ,,,, be cool

A Friendly Word

A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."

The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"

The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"

The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"

The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. She talked and talked and talked. You want my advice?"

The man said yes.

The Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."

Happy Anniversary

Yesterday 1940 (May 31st) Ellison Shaw and Eric Grenadier Bussey were married. Ellison picked the date as she didn’t want to be lumped in with the June brides, how cool is that ?
Oh ya … Ellison & Eric, my mom & dad